As I have gotten older, I noticed that I have become so shy and guarded when it comes to speaking my mind and being around people. I noticed in social settings that I would listen to conversations around me and want to jump in and be a part of the conversation, but was always to late. While the conversation was in full swing I would be having an internal conversation in my head basically analyzing the current conversation going on. I would be trying to figure out if what I had to say fit in the conversation or I would think that what I had to say people would think was “stupid”. So by the time I found the courage to speak up and get what I had to say out of my mouth, the conversation was over or moved on to the next subject. I really felt like I had to chose my words wisely and speak them in the appropriate time within any conversation that I was in.
I started my blog back in July of 2014, well on July 22, 2014 to be exact.
I started my blog as a part of the “goals” that I set for myself in 2014; and my major focus for that year was being vocal and allowing my voice to be heard, and the first major step I took was starting a blog. I read somewhere a long time ago that blogging can help you break out of your shell and learn to speak your mind with no fear or hesitation. Blogging has allowed me a personal platform for my voice, thoughts, idea’s, and feelings to be expressed in a “safe place”.
When I started blogging in my “safe place” it was solely a place for me to release and be creative. I did not realize how much I needed a place that allowed me to express not only my thoughts and feelings but my creativity as well. Starting this blog was such release for me and it is something that I truly enjoy, but *HUGE BUT* I slowly came to realize that other people were actually reading what I was posting. At first it freaked me out, but I started to receive some amazing feedback and inspiring emails from people that I didn’t even know. I even had one women reach out to me who was a real blogger (she actually has a career in blogging about things that she loves), and she let me know how much she enjoys reading my blog and invited me to be a part of an amazing community of other bloggers.
With the help of this women and other members of the blog community I started getting the courage to tell people that I “blog”. I really didn’t tell many people that I knew that I was a “blogger” in fear that they might judge me, not support me, etc. But if anyone asked, I let them know that I blog.
Lately; I have been going back and forth with myself in regards to taking the leap and fully sharing my blog with my friends, family, and the rest of the internet world, and maybe even turning it into something more.
I have come to the conclusion with the help of my husband and recent interaction with people that I see on a daily basis that I have allowed “FEAR” of being judged take my “safe place” away without realizing it. I was allowing fear of being judged and fear of negativity from others completely take over my space, which caused me to take a break from blogging all together for a few months. So how was I living a “FEARLESS” 2016 (my word for the year) if I had so much fear consumed around other people’s judgments, thoughts, and opinion of my words?
Thinking will not overcome fear but action will. – W. Clement Stone
I have made the decision to not be fearful, I am taking the leap to be “FEARLESS” with my blog and my voice. I really want to keep this space a positive space filled with support, love, and gratitude.
I will be posting my blog fearlessly on Friday August 26th for all of my friends and family to see.